oh love, the painful love

We were moving along fine, until three months ago. Three months ago, i made a mistake that was compelling, that was unforgivable to you. Filled with deep shameful remorse i was, and you filled with insurmountable disappointment. I apologised time and time again, and you said that it was going to be difficult to let it go, that it was something you have told me not to do if i love you dearly. Both yours and mine shattered to pieces, knowing that we would never be able to mend it, like a beautiful flawless porcelain doll that was smashed into pieces and beyond repair. But i never gave up. You sounded cold and distant with a tinge of hatred in your voice when we talked it out, but i undestood the catalyst, the reason to that behaviour which was so unlike you. I fought hard, to mend you, to mend us, to mend everything. With shaking hands i tried to put the pieces back together. Time passed and you forgave me, but you said things will never be how it was. As for me, i thought forgiveness from you would suffice to keep us close. And so i lived with an illusion that we were perfectly fine, that you were mine and i was yours although the bind wasn't there. The illusion was a deceitful one, blinding me from the fact that you were still haunted by the past. I moved on, but you stayed at the point where we were three months ago. Stagnant and paralysed you were. It wasn't soon before long when i realised that you were left behind, that i was living in a mirage of a perfect you and me. I came back to get you, but you wouldn't budge a single inch from that spot. You just stood there, looking at me with those sad, woeful eyes. Then i knew that you were never ready to move on. You were scarred badly and the scars will be there permanently. I then held your hand, fingers intertwined and whispered that i will wait for you to heal, no matter how long it takes. You grasped my hand tighter and your face broke into a slight smile. It was then that i knew there was still a scintilla of hope in us.